been awhile

Were do I begin?, how about my new job. I started today I am now a new employee at St Johns Medical Center in Tulsa. I will now be working Oncology. My new hours are Monday though Friday isnt that great.
My car was totaled June 11. I was hit by a drunk driver. Of course the driver didnt stop. but a witness got the license of the car for me.
I have nightmares about the accedent enough all ready

Harmony at Home

I have been really busy these past few weeks, it all most seems that I have not had a day off. With my job at the hospital, babysitting Alaura during the week, and babysitting Seth, Aymia, and Marissa on the weekendsI don't have any days off. However I do see a light at the end of the tunnel. Alaura will be strarting pre, pre school in august. I will be able to sleep more and hopefully Start school again. I am also hoping that NIcole and Kenny will have everything settled by then. So if I keep my fingers crossed and pray I might get to do a little of what I want.
It has been 5 months since Russel and his girlfriend(wife)move in here with Nicole and myself. WE haven't got in any real fights so I think everthing is going ok. However I do feel a little tension at times from Nicole and alot from Russel and Myria. I know that it was going to be hard living all together. And in the long run everyone does understand we will all have our bad and good days.
I love all my kids. And I know that they love me. So I wish that we all can live in one big house forever. BUt I also know that they do want thier freedom. Its only normal. And one day I will be by myself again. I dont know if I will cry from being sad or happy.

going crazy

This past mothers day was a day to remember I locked my only set of key in my car then i lost them after I got them out. Iam getting old and its scarey

stupid people

First of all I want to thank Kenny's family for showing us how STUPID they are.All day yesterday, Kenny's sister who lives in Vegas and his mom were messaging Nicole with some really hateful remarks. They tried thier best to scare nicole, but it didnt work. All that happened was that Nicole got mad and stood her ground. well Kenny called last night and told us that he never asked his sister or mom to say the things they said. plus today I went on his sisters my space and she deleted all that was said plus she said she just wanted to say thoses things to piss some one off and have fun. well thats one stupid bitch. I have to wonder where her brain is or does she have one.
If kennys family had any sense they would let Alauras parents work this out. His mom and sisters need to stay out of this, and they need to keep there stupid comments to them selves. However if they really want to share their comments they can call me anytime. but its really funny because everytime I ask them to talk to me they back down. I wonder why. And maybe if they are smart enough to know have to access my blog . I might get a response. I think not.

kids

Allot is going on right now with My daughter Nicole I wish that there is more I can do to help her. I support her every choice she makes and I love her with all my heart. I hope that is enough. I love all my kids. I am proud of every single one of them. They didn't have the typical family upbringing, but they did learn allot from our mistakes, just as I have. I wish that things were different but they weren't and to learn from the past is the key to the future. I love all of you guys .

MY cat thats not mine

My daughter told a friend that she would take his cat off his hands, you see his girlfriend is expecting and being around a cat is not good , at least that's what people say. Any way this cat fit into this house perfectly, he got along with the dogs and my grand kids. He used the Kittie litter box without a problem. He even thought he was mine because he slept with me and my dog. It seemed like I was the only one who feed him and gave him water. He even would be sitting in the window ledge waiting for me to get off work. Just like Pedro my dog. But this lovable cat would eat people food. He wouldn't even wait till you were finish , he would help himself to what ever was on your plate. That really pissed me off. I don't eat after any animal. Then the gas started, oh boy his gas smelled worst than anything I ever smelled . And working in a hospital I smelled some really rioting stuff. Oh boy then he made the mistake of pooping on the floor. Since my daughter brought the cat home i made her clean it up. well after a few times Nicole through the cat out side. The weather was great sunny and warm. Until now I feel so bad for that cat that's not mine. So i made him a home. He loves it even with the serve weather we are having. What is so funny is that I am not a cat person. but I feel that this cat is mine. Everyone i talk to say the cat is fine And I know they are right. So I still give him water and food and fluff his blanket and make sure his bed is dry.

tornados

I was woken up last night at 230 in the morning by my daughter in law then I heard the sirens. Shoudnt it have been the other way, the sirens waking me up first. It was pretty scary the loud noises the wind and the rain, then hail, large hail, very large hail. THis was the first time since I moved to oklahoma that I actually needed to take shelter. And what was so funny is that we all were talking about getting a tornado kit ready earrly that evening, plus by the time we decided what to do . the warning ended. May be we should develop a better plan of action. I guess it was about 430 that i finally fell back to sleep. and i woke up at 8 this morning. I am glad that i am working this evening then I can take a nap with out feeling guilty.

what a mess

I have been trying to understand how people could be so mean. MY daughter Nicole and her ex are fighting now his family is putting me right in the middle of this terrible fight. I am not lowering my self and attacking back with nasty things. but to be the smart one here and not say stuff is really hard and it really hurts me. I hope that all my kids really understand that I really love them. with all my heart.

Daughtry

having one day off a week is not enough. May be because I am older I feel it more. What ever the reason I have no engery. I am giong to a concert next week. I am so excited.

Mr hormones are going crazy

As I was reading my daughters blog I started to cry. Again I missed a very important day. I saw the pictures of my mom and dad and I couldn't stop crying. That's all I do is cry all the time. However I really wished I could have been there. I probably would have cried and cried.

men

Sometimes I wonder why men do the things they do. This weekend Some one who I thought was a changed man wasnt he fooled me and instead of getting mad at him I feel sorry for him , and I dont understand how any one can use a child as a ploy to try to get what they want from another. This weekend things happened that I cried over, then i got mad, and then i got smart. I told my self that we would fight and do everthing the legal way to make sure Alaura would never be used that way again. The battled has just begun. It is so sad because Alauras dad did this to him self. My daughter has been trying so hard to make things easier for him. I dont even feel right because my heart is so sad for him.

whats wrong

I have been in the worst mood for the last week. I wonder why. I get mad at every little thing and I cry at any little thing. I work, babysit, cook, clean, and worry too much. May be I neeed to get a life. I really need to go back to school and finish. Or I need to go out and met new people . I just know that something has to change fast

marriage

why do people get narried and dont tell me. people in my family.

The magic of two

Tomorrow Aymia will be turning two. I dont remember my kids at the age of two being as colorful as Aymia. She is tough, she holds her own, and she loves to eat.. Her four year old bro seth is always feeling the wrath of Aymia. I believe Aymia will be running her house. She is my little tomboy.
I will have two more grandkids turning two in the next few years.
I am hoping for a grandson next.

work, work, and more work.

This is the end of my work week yea, but only one day off. then back to work on saturday. No grandkids today so may be I will get some sleep.

people

Lately I have been getting upset over things I no control over. I have to remind myself that some people are just not worth the dad day I would have if I let It bother me. That is the trick, for give and forget. Its not easy, but IT can be done.
I want to to make candles again, think i will

My day off

One day off this week yea..... I work nights and I usually sleep days and its 730 am and Should I sleep or sould I stay awake. I am going to stay awake today sleep is over rated.
I have been having some crazy dreams about been late for work and not knowing where I work at. In my dream last night I remember being worried but yet relieved that I had a job. I lived In tulsa but IT looked like Fresno. And my house was warm and happy and clean Crazy.....................

grandkids

Last night some of my grandkids spent the night with me. It was nice They went to bed at 830 but thier mom forgot to tell me that the wake up at 3 in the morning. that was the time I was going to bed. We watched a little tv then lights out. So I had my two grandkids in bed with me, my dog and my daughters cat who thinks He is mine. I had a little edge of the bed. It was fun.

my dream

Its been a long time since I was able to sleep though the night. I fall asleep late and wake up early. My dreams are back and they are as crazy as ever.
People that know me, know that I have lots of hoobbies. And one of them is jewlery making. I work with beads, semi presious stones, silver, and some times gold. I go to bead stores, hobby store, and garage sales to find the perfect, craziest things ever. I make everthing from rings to earrings. It helps me relax.
Last night I had a dream that I went to a bead store in oregan. I went there on my bike and I took my last $169 . I was looking for a certain color, I dont remember the color but in my dream I saw all kinds of colors. And when I left IT was raining and I could smell the forest. My dream was so peaceful. I woke up in a good mood.
I will be going to the bead store tomorrow.

Dreams

There back

Feeling better

I am pretty sure that I am back to normal. I feel great I have been back to work without any problems. I have a slight cough but thats all.
Today I went to see my new granddaughter (Marrissa). She is so beautiful , I still cant believe all the black hair she has. My grandson, Seth says that Marrissa has his nose and I agree.
Childern are indeed a gift from god.
All is well

My new granddaughter

Marissa Elizabeth is my new granddaughters name. A beautiful name for a beautiful baby. Mom and baby are home and are doing fine.
I worked last night yea and I didnt drop dead.
Its snowing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Family

I have so much on my mind I don't know were to begin. So first, Last night I witness a miracle, the miracle of life my daughter gave birth to my fourth granddaughter. It wasnt the first birth I witnessed; all my daughters allowed me to be there. Watching a child being brought into this world is so special. I will always remember and i do remember every birth. I am so happy.
Second, I sat here this morning talking to some one who has grown up. He has shown me a different side to his old self. I just pray that he continues on with his changed self and I am proud of him. And KP keep up the good work.
Third, I am trying my hardest to not hate. I have had some tough times with a few family members. No matter what They do I still end up forgiving them. but when is enough. I think I reach that point. I realized I can forgive them But I dont have to be around them for any more abuse. I dont have to hate them and I dont I love them . They may not feel the same but thats ok. I love my self to much to allow myself to be a hateful person. I made up my mind I will not end up being like them. I am sorry life is to short to be that hateful.

Thought it was a boy

Well my daughter had her baby Tuesday night at 2152. The baby weighed 7 pounds 1 ounce, has lots of black hair, has Kristin's nose and lips, plus it was a girl!!!!!!! They had been told it was a boy and guess what the doc was wrong imagine that. They were not ready for a girl so no name was picked . The whole family is very happy.

Dreams

I am still sick along with everyone else in our house. This sucks!!!!!!! Last night I tried to cook dinner for my son (Russell) and I burnt every thing and that was a First. Of course he didn't complain He was just thankful that I am still among the living. However I feel like poo. I do plan on going back to work tomorrow i just hope my body agrees.
While I have been sick I havent been able to remember any of my dreams usually I remember two to three dreams a night. I dream in color and sound. I have beautiful and sometimes a bit crazy dreams and I miss those Dreams . I am sure its the medication that is affecting my dreams. I love my dreams I hope they come back!!!!!!!!!!!!

Still sick

I don't know what i would do If I didn't have my family here to take care of me. I have had the worst cold ever. I am a rotten patient but then all nurses are. I still feel like crap but then today I actually came out of my room. I think I am going to live

SICK

I have been so sick lately I was to work the last two day but i did not. Cant work in a hospital giving the poor patients my germs. My daughter Kristin is still pregant.

Thanks Tiff

My oldest daughter helped me set this up. Thanks tiff, love you. Tomorrow starts my work week yea. I love to stay home But I seem to stay tired more at home. I am just happy that I am working. It really helps when you love your job as I do. Today was a strange day, my granddaughter stopped listening to me and I missed placed some beads I guess I can expect more days like this being that I am a oldy. I make jewerly to relax but not today, I went crazy looking for the misplaced beads. Made a great dinner>>>>>

sunday

had my grandkids this weekend boy i am sure tired.